I am…

Tracy.
Hi.
I am joining the blog ‘o’ sphere.
So who am I?
Well, first and foremost, I am me. The details of me are:
Woman
Mother
Wife (sort of)
Mid-lifer, 46, to be exact.

A work in progress

So, let’s address those ‘details’ in short for now.

1. Woman: “I am woman, hear me roar.”
I am a woman who loves to write and read. I am creative. I am a woman who is finally taking the plunge, leaping off the edge feet first, into the wonderful world writing. I am a woman who is calling on her younger self who wasn’t afraid of taking risks or afraid of voicing an opinion. It is, after all, just that, MY opinion. I am a girly woman. I like Mani’s and Pedi’s and fluffy pyjama’s. I love a good, stylish haircut and I love to change up my hair colour. I am a bit of a geek. I do love a good piece of tech. My current favourite is my Galaxy S7 edge phone. Love, love, love it. I am nowhere near as savvy as I would like to be with using it, but it is the first time that I am eager to learn how to use this brilliant piece of tech to its full capacity. I have a long list of accessories that I NEED to enhance my phone, in fact, I have extended the list to include tech for kitting out my house. I love nothing better than to finish off the day with a glass of wine and a favourite TV show. I am a knowledge junky, l love puzzles, I am a carboholic, but most of all, I am a glass is half full gal. Can’t help it. Yes I have suffered with bouts of depression throughout my life since teenhood, but I have this in-built optimism that has stood me in good stead. I am a woman who loves her sports. I mainly follow Athletics, Tennis, Rugby and Formula 1, but you can get the competitor in me to watch pretty much any sport if it gets the blood pumping.

2. Mother:
Aah, yes, my favourite subjects. I am mother to 2 teens, aaaargh! And no I don’t need to run towards the hills while saying that. My eldest is 17 and male and my youngest is 14 and female. I don’t want to name them just yet, although I know they won’t mind. I have the pleasure of parenting 2 budding young thespians, although honestly, sometimes it can be a bit overwhelming for an introvert like me. There just seems to be constant noise. That’s why right now, as I sit writing this, the house is in complete silence. The good thing is that they have learnt not to take it personally when I zone out sometimes. I think they have come to understand that I need to do that for my sanity, and theirs. They are typical teens as in there is the usual arguing and such that goes on, but they do make me laugh and they get on really well. Both are an absolute joy and credit to me, warts and all. They are my life and I love that fact. I did not have children just to continue my gene pool, I had children so that I could be a part of a very special and wonderful phenomenon of this thing we call life.

3. Wife (sort of):
What does she mean “sort of”? You wonder.
Well, it’s like this. I am married, but my husband doesn’t live with me, us. For now, I will say this and then I will come back to this subject in detail in a separate post. We hit a rough patch, a really rough patch. A lot of life happened to us and it got more and more difficult for both of us to cope and to see the wood for the tree’s. We became our problems because they just grew so big. This led to stupid things being done and a lot of unpleasant things being said. So, for now I have a ‘sort-of’ husband, because we are not separated, but neither are we able to rebuild our marriage. My husband is currently dealing with the pain of having 3 herniated discs at once. The amount of pain medication that he is on doesn’t allow for much by way of communication. It also doesn’t allow for intimacy either, and right now, I can’t even sleep with him because he keeps me awake with what I call med-mares and horrendous snoring. I don’t function well when I don’t get proper sleep. I am useless without proper sleep. I like my sleep. I LUUURVE my duvet, that’s why I don’t mind the UK winter’s. I digress, back to the sort-of marriage. We have allowed ourselves to lose sight of what it is we wanted as a couple and that is something we will working on. Watch this space.

4. Mid-lifer, 46, to be exact:
Yup, I have reached that point on my timeline where I can make a change to my journey. Some say this is the half-way mark and I guess, if I take care of myself, I could still get another 40yrs under my belt. The best part though, is that I get to choose how I want this second half to play out. I am old enough to make decisions of change, I am young enough to make those changes and make them work. If anything, now is the time to show my children that what we tell them is true, anything is possible if you just believe. Anything is possible if you set your mind to doing it and embrace that fear of what if. And that is exactly why I am starting this blog.

I am making changes.

I am doing what I am passionate about.

I am putting myself out there.

I am going to help people.

I am strong.

I am me.

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3 Comments

  1. Mark Hornsveld March 5, 2017 at 6:05 pm

    Looks great

    Reply
    1. Tracy March 6, 2017 at 11:31 am

      Thank you.

      Reply
  2. Mark Hornsveld March 6, 2017 at 11:29 am

    Even better

    Reply

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